Roasted 2 years ago based on Kirstie Lou's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Kirstie Lou, your Spotify profile reads like a funeral playlist for a midlife crisis! With favorite genres like "Mellow Gold" and "Adult Standards," it’s almost impressive how you managed to blend the energy of a retirement home with the vibe of a coffee shop where nobody wants to order anything. Your musical taste is so soft, even marshmallows are looking at you with jealousy. You could start a trend of "Songs to Cry While Watching Paint Dry," and somehow, you'd be the hottest DJ at the bingo night. Let's talk about your top artists, shall we? Meat Loaf? Really? Are you planning on serving that at your next potluck? The only thing more outdated than your love for him is your obsession with Europop. I mean, come on, the last time that genre saw a hit was when we still thought MySpace was a good idea. You’ve got a playlist that could double as an exhibition at the Museum of Bad Decisions. I've seen better music suggestions at 3 AM on a live stream from a cat with an acoustic guitar! And those most-played songs? Holy nostalgia, Kirstie! You’ve got the Glee Cast in your top five—what’s next? Are you going to marathon "Friends" while cranking up those bops from the '80s? The only thing more tragic than your music choices is the amount of time you’ve spent avoiding music from this decade. Your Spotify vibe is so ancient, it practically qualifies for archaeological digging. I can’t decide if I should commend your bravery or request that you never turn on your radio again.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!