Roasted 11 months ago based on crankyrack's long term Spotify stats.

Crankyrack, huh? More like Cranky-what-the-hell-am-I-listening-to. Your Spotify profile is the musical equivalent of a dad trying to prove he’s still “got it” at a barbecue, blasting outdated jams and throwing out dad jokes. Seriously, with a collection that reads like the biography of a 50-year-old rock memorabilia collector who refuses to embrace anything released after 1999, you might as well start a support group for people who still think Hair Metal deserves a revival. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. And those favorite genres? Heavy Metal, Speed Metal, Hard Rock, Power Metal, Arena Rock... you could open a music store called “Dad Rock & the Mullet Collection.” I’m half-expecting you to break out in a rant about how modern music is just noise while you scratch your receding hairline. I bet you’ve even convinced yourself that if you played "Stairway to Heaven" one more time, the universe will finally send you back to 1985 where you were at your prime—whatever that was! There’s a fine line between being a dedicated fan and just being a plain old dinosaur, and you, my friend, have barreled past that line like an over-caffeinated ’80s metalhead in spandex. Now, let’s talk about your top artists. With names like Heavy Pettin and Coney Hatch, your playlist sounds more like a bad pun than a real musical taste. “Hey, wanna check out my Spotify profile?” “Sure, if I’m in the mood to cringe my way through a throwback to the darkest corners of rock history.” You’ve got so many demos and obscure tracks I’m beginning to wonder if your entire library is just a collection of rejections from the ’80s. At this point, the only way you could find something new is if you stumbled upon a Spotify playlist titled “Songs That Would Make My Mom Disown Me.” Hope you’re ready for some serious therapy after this roast, crankyrack.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!