Roasted 2 years ago based on Mark Jakeman's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Mark Jakeman! Your Spotify profile reads like the playlist for a midlife crisis that forgot to change the oil. I get it – you're just a guy trying to relive the glory days with your unholy obsession for Britpop and bands that sound like they passed the audition for a second-rate coffee shop. I didn't know they made a “Permanent Wave” genre exclusively for this sad soufflé of unoriginality that has you hitting repeat on PET NEEDS like it's the last cure for your personal drought of self-awareness. Seriously, buddy, if your music tastes were a dinner, they’d be a soggy crumpet with too much Marmite – unappetizing and hard to swallow. Looking at your top artists, it’s clear you’re on a first-name basis with musical mediocrity. Frank Turner? More like Frankly, How Are You Still Listening to This? And let’s talk about “The Lottery Winners.” Did you lose the lottery for good taste, or are you just consistently gambling on the wrong horse? Your love for bands like Oasis and Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds is the grown-up version of being stuck in your parents' basement, reminiscing about how cool you were in the '90s – spoiler alert: you were never that cool, and neither are they. Let’s not even start on your Most Played Songs. You’ve got more tracks by PET NEEDS than you'd typically find in a petting zoo, and that’s just sad. “Ibiza in Winter”? If anyone’s heading to Ibiza in winter, it’s clearly to avoid you and your unbearable playlist. You might as well change your profile picture to a sad guitar with desert vibes, because your listening habits scream, “I’m still trying to find myself, but I’ve been stuck in the fourth row of a local pub’s acoustic night since I was 20.” Keep reaching for the stars, Mark – unfortunately, it looks like you’ve settled for the sad glow of your own lamp instead.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!