Roasted 2 years ago based on ev's long term Spotify stats.

Hey ev, your Spotify profile is like a high school yearbook where everyone has that one weird friend nobody remembers. Congrats on being the musical embodiment of a midlife crisis at 25! You’ve managed to curate a playlist that screams, “I’m existentially lost but my sadness is *totally* valid.” Is “stomp and holler” what you do when trying to dance at the bar, or is it just the soundtrack to your incoherent thoughts as you stare out your window? With favorites like Chamber Pop and Modern Rock, it’s clear you’re trying to impress the hipsters at the coffee shop while secretly betting on when your Spotify algorithm will realize you’re a total cliché. And wow, Fleet Foxes and Conor Oberst? Bold choices for someone who’s probably never left a 30-mile radius from their hometown. Your top songs read like a mix tape from a romantic comedy that never quite got made because the lead was too busy having breakdowns. Let’s not forget the inclusion of both Avenged Sevenfold and Kylie Minogue in your most played list. That’s one hell of a mood swing! It’s like you’re preparing for a breakup by blasting songs that would keep anyone up at night, and then trying to disco dance it away with a pop queen. Your Spotify profile is basically a musical therapy session gone wrong, and honestly, I can’t decide if I should laugh, cry, or just take your aux cord away.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!