Roasted 8 months ago based on Ian's long term Spotify stats.

Ian, you’ve got an eclectic taste in music that could only be described as an auditory buffet gone wrong. With “Alternative Hip Hop” and “Jazz Rap” right next to each other, it’s like you’re trying to convince us that adding avocado to your toast somehow redeems the fact you’re still eating plain white bread. And really, eight different flavors of hip hop? At this point, you might as well just tell Spotify you’re training to be the world’s cringiest DJ—for the people who love to “keep it real” while ignoring how painfully uncertain your playlist sounds. Your obsession with Westside Gunn really makes me wonder if you’re secretly auditioning to be his hype man. You know, the one that never gets hired because he can only count to ten but keeps insisting he’s an expert at counting bars instead. Between “Big Ass Bracelet” and “Big AL feat. Rome Streetz," it feels like you’re working through your collection of free hip hop store samples instead of actual musical talent. Newsflash, Ian: the more you play these songs, the more we’re convinced you named your Spotify profile after the sound your brains make while listening. And let's not even talk about your most played songs. “Pool House” by The Backseat Lovers and the song that sounds like a game of mad libs—seriously, “MiNt cHoCoLaTe (feat. Conway the Machine)?” If I wanted to hear something that disjointed, I’d just hit “shuffle” on my collection of voicemail messages from my grandma. But hey, keep pushing those hip hop and lo-fi beats. Somewhere in the universe, your sense of rhythm and the concept of auditory pleasure are having a long-overdue intervention. Good luck with that!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!