Roasted 8 months ago based on Hadley J's long term Spotify stats.

Hadley J, huh? With a Spotify profile that reads like a hipster's college thesis on how to be as indecisive as possible, it seems you’ve somehow managed to throw every "pop" and "rock" genre into a blender than then pressed 'puree'. Baroque pop and yacht rock? What are you doing, trying to soundtrack a vintage yacht party at a Renaissance fair? I half-expect your playlists to come with a complimentary cardigan and an artisanal coffee subscription. Seriously, the only thing softer than your musical tastes is that pillow you’re probably hugging while playing your "dream" songs. Then there are your top artists—ah yes, the crème de la crème of angst-ridden indie folk and emotionally distant pop. Nothing screams "I’m processing my feelings" quite like Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, and Phoebe Bridgers leading your playlist. You must be a real hit at parties—just casually bringing down the vibe with an entire set of songs that sound like they were composed while staring at an empty wine glass and contemplating life choices. I can picture you now, dramatically swaying to Sufjan Stevens while everyone else is just trying to enjoy a good time. You’re really out here starting a “Sad Boy/Depressed Girl” support group and calling it a music playlist. And the most played songs? "Skin and Bones," really? With choices like "Take My Hand" (two versions, mind you), it’s almost like you're running your own music version of Groundhog Day. You pick the same songs in the hopes someone will notice how edgy you are—spoiler alert: they won't. Your musical taste really could use some seasoning because right now it’s as bland as a loaf of gluten-free bread. Good luck claiming you’re “unique” while swimming in the ocean of white-boy guitar strumming. If these tracks are supposed to be your vibe, I hope you at least turn up the volume on your sense of humor because you're going to need it to survive the inevitable roast of your entire Spotify existence!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!