Roasted 5 months ago based on Katie's long term Spotify stats.

Katie, your Spotify profile is like an eclectic garage sale where the neighbors come to ogle at the weirdest finds. Seriously, who decided that a Christmas carol needed to be sandwiched between dizzying New Wave tracks and angst-riddled Post-Punk? If your music taste were any more mismatched, it would be the soundtrack to a therapy session for indecisive hipsters. I can practically hear your Spotify algorithm screaming for an identity crisis while it tries to reconcile a-ha with the Choir of King's College. And let's talk about those top artists for a second. Anyone who has "Blondie" and “The Sisters of Mercy” on the same list probably thinks they’ve got the perfect playlist for every occasion—first date? Sure! Funeral? Why not?! I mean, it takes a rare kind of talent to create an emotional rollercoaster where "Bizarre Love Triangle" and "O Holy Night" can coexist. Your Spotify looks like it was created by someone who is desperately trying to impress their goth friends while still sneaking in a little joy for the Christmas dinner table—what’s next? A collaboration album between Etta James and the Ghost of Christmas Past? Oh, and the song choices? I won’t even start with “You Don't Have to Be a Prostitute”—the biggest shocker is that it hasn't been added to your number one anthem for potluck dinners. If I had to listen to your top tracks, I’d probably undergo a personality transformation by the end, emerging as an angsty soul with a deep appreciation for synthesized synths and emotionally charged ballads. The variety is astounding, but it’s like you Googled “how to appear complex and deep” and then promptly fell into a rabbit hole of '70s and '80s nostalgia. So here's to you, Katie: champion of the uncategorizable and queen of the confused vibes!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!