Roasted 2 years ago based on Riley's long term Spotify stats.

Riley, your Spotify profile reads like a playlist belonging to that friend who insists on being “quirky” but somehow ends up with the most basic choices imaginable. You’ve chosen “Mellow Gold” and “Dance Pop” in the same breath, which means you’re trying to enjoy a night out while simultaneously preparing for a nap. Honestly, your taste in music has the rare ability to induce sleep and inspire an eye-roll at the same time. If your vibe was any more all over the place, you’d need a color-coded chart just to keep track of your musical schizophrenia. And let’s talk about those top artists. Even your Spotify algorithm is confused by your selections! Bo Burnham is great for a chuckle, but choosing AJR alongside Will Ferrell is a bold strategy, Cotton. Who are you trying to impress—your inner child or that one hipster barista who asked for your playlist? Chappell Roan fits right in with the collection of “I-fell-asleep-during-the-movie” soundtracks you’ve gathered. Meanwhile, nothing screams “I peaked in high school” louder than having Jorge Rivera-Herrans and Antonio Banderas on your most played list—are you preparing for a dramatic musical showdown or just running a comedy club? As for your most played songs, they tell a story—a tragic one, at that. “The Horse and the Infant” sounds like the weirdest title ever for a Disney movie that never got made, where the horse politely explains to the crying baby why they shouldn’t have chosen you as a parent. And with Will Ferrell's "That Christmas Morning Feelin’," it’s clear you’re desperately trying to cling to those happy memories of when you thought you might actually be funny. Your Spotify profile is like an unruly mixtape of an identity crisis—pick a lane, Riley! Or at least slow down on the caffeine before you make your next playlist.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!