Roasted 3 months ago based on caroline 🐀's long term Spotify stats.

Caroline 🐀, your Spotify profile reads like a confused millennial's magnet for bad decisions. I mean, "Yacht Rock"? Really? Are you trying to set sail on a sea of blandness, or just using music to mask the fact that your personality is more stagnant than the water you’re cruising on? You've got more genres than a grocery store has types of salad dressing, which is ironic because the only thing you really seem to be dressing up is your fundamental lack of taste. Top artists that include J. Cole and Justin Bieber? Please, forgive me if I choke on the sheer juxtaposition of cultural sophistication and guilty pleasures. It's like you're trying to blend an artsy indie film with a TikTok dance challenge. And let’s not gloss over the fact that Fleetwood Mac is somehow sandwiched between Drake and Zach Bryan—a collab that definitely deserves a good laugh rather than applause. Your auditory vibes are about as coherent as a drunk person’s attempt to recite the alphabet. Now, let’s dive into your most played songs. “Só não dou meu celular”? What’s next, “Not Strong Enough” by boygenius? Caroline, if your life choices were as well-rounded as your playlist, you’d be living in a mansion rather than curled up on your couch with a bowl of cereal for dinner. Let's hope your music is the only thing from which you derive some semblance of harmony; we can't have you getting lost in the chaos of your own mind while you chase the unsettling tranquility of Norah Jones and Calvin Harris. Keep it going—you’re just a few bad Spotify Wrapped years away from being a walking punchline!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!