Roasted 6 months ago based on dylan's long term Spotify stats.

Dylan, your Spotify profile is like a musical identity crisis wrapped in neon lights and existential dread. I mean, a favorite genre list that reads like a BuzzFeed article about “What Your Recommended Therapy Should Be”? You’ve got more sub-genres in there than an indecisive hipster has flannels in their closet. It’s like you took a deep dive into the Spotify pit of chaos and just kept falling – harder and harder, like that time you "accidentally" liked your ex’s latest pic from 2019. Let's talk about your top artists - does any artist even know who you are? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if your playlists are just the sounds of your own tears and anguish over teenage heartbreak. Honestly, I didn’t know there was a whole subgenre for wallowing in self-pity until I saw your picks. “Dro Kenji” and “Lil Tecca”? It’s like you’re collecting TikTok’s sadboi TikTok stars like they’re rare Pokémon cards. Are you trying to start a collection or is this just your diary disguised as a playlist? And those most played songs? Wow, impressive stamina for emotional turmoil! Between “CALL YOU UP” and “BY MY SIDE” by rghvarchive – is that even a real artist or did you just misspell ‘ragged archive’ because you forgot to cry during your last binge-watch session? I’m just saying, your music taste screams “I have a strong affinity for melancholy and way too much time to ponder my life choices.” Next time you hit shuffle, maybe just give a little nudge to something other than melodrama – unless that’s actually all you want to hear while slowly sinking into the void.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!