Roasted 2 years ago based on slowlydistancing's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, slowlydistancing, the Playlist Prince of Procrastination! Your music taste reads like the diary of someone who just discovered the joys of a mid-life crisis while simultaneously attempting to interpret abstract art. With genres like "Indietronica" and "Dream Pop" peppered throughout your favorites, it’s clear you’re still riding the synthwave train but forgot to check the schedule. You’ve got more sub-genres than actual personality traits—congrats on your emotional range spanning from 120 BPM to mildly upbeat! Let’s talk about your top artists, shall we? Maroon 5, really? So, you’re telling me you’ve sacrificed taste for catchy hooks while cruising through a Spotify playlist that reads like your high school mixtape? Mixing "Cigarettes After Sex" with "Maroon 5" is a bold move, one that suggests you're trying to balance your desire for superficial romance with the angst of a broken heart—like you’re on a quest for Nirvana and ended up with a coupon for a dive bar karaoke night instead. If Duke Dumont represents the pinnacle of your dance obsession, then your celebration of rhythm is as exciting as a wet blanket at a rave. And let’s not overlook your most played songs because, wow, it’s like you’ve hit the “repeat” button on the soundtrack to your imaginary breakdown. "head//bed"? More like "head/what-are-you-doing-with-your-life"! With a collection of songs that makes me think you might be one unfortunate interpretative dance away from a mid-century art exhibit, it seems your musical identity is as scattered as your dating history. Pro tip: Maybe it’s time to “sxdgxrl” your life choices before someone finds a way to stream your playlist on a loop in a therapy session.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!