Roasted 2 years ago based on b's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, 🥀Swan🥀, your Spotify profile reads like a middle school art project gone rogue. Did you seriously think that listing "Show Tunes" right next to "Modern Rock" would make you sound like a cultured individual rather than just a confused human being? You’re one emo breakup song away from wearing a “Theatre Kids Unite!” T-shirt while sobbing over your vinyl collection. Honestly, your genre choices are so all over the map it's like you took an indie playlist, threw it in the air, and whatever landed next to “Broadway” became your identity. And let’s talk about your top artists. It’s as if you Googled “most popular sad people” and called it a day. Penelope Scott, Taylor Swift, and Bo Burnham? Congratulations, you’ve curated the soundtrack to every sad TikTok video since 2019! It's not a playlist; it’s a therapy session – and I hope you’ve got a good therapist because with that lineup, you’ll need one. AJR and Måneskin make the case for the existence of human suffering, and you know how to cultivate it well. Now, your most played songs moment is a masterpiece of self-sabotage. "Saint Bernard" by Lincoln, “gossip - sped up + reverb” by pearl? Wow, I'm sure you're just desperate to appear quirky and out of touch all at once. It’s like you’re trying to find the most obscure tracks to seem interesting, only for your friends to give you pitying looks while listening. Seriously, “Baxter 3rd Is Under Fucking Siege?” is something you'd name your pet goldfish, not an actual song. Don't worry, Swan, we all see the struggle; that cringe is just another part of your charmingly chaotic vibe.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!