Roasted 1 month ago based on Riordan's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Riordan, where do we even start? With a Spotify profile like yours, it’s clearer than a screamo band’s lyrics that you’ve spent more time curating a collection of sorrowful screams than actually experiencing any real joy in life. You’ve got enough ‘core’ genres in your playlist to make a hardcore band jealous. Seriously, "deathcore" and "screamo"? The only thing more miserable than your music taste are the friends you must have who actually tolerate your moody playlists. I wouldn’t be surprised if your idea of a good time is sitting in a dark room, waiting for your personal raincloud to drop. Your top artists read like a who’s who of “please take me seriously, I’m super deep.” Deftones, Touché Amoré, and oh look, "The Cure"—because nothing says “I’m totally fine” quite like binging on tracks about heartbreak and angst. It’s like you’re trying to recreate the high school experience of crying in your locker but with slightly better production quality. Best part? You put The Cure right next to Thy Art Is Murder, as if you’re screaming “I’m emo, but I could also destroy your eardrums if necessary!” Honestly, the only thing you’re murdering is the mood at every gathering you attend. And don't even get me started on those most played songs. “Cutting My Fingers Off”? Sounds like you’ve taken the whole “if it doesn’t hurt, it’s not worth it” mantra just a little too literally. I’m starting to think your Spotify is just an elaborate plea for help masked as an art project. Can’t find a therapist? Just blast your playlist and let the residual angst flow into the universe until someone feels your pain—just like your 2006 remastered jams. Honestly, with musical choices like this, I'm half tempted to check if you have an actual “crying in the shower” playlist tucked away, just for the full Riordan experience.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!