Roasted 1 year ago based on Carolyn Keyes's long term Spotify stats.

Carolyn Keyes, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like a bouquet of musical confusion, where the only stems that make sense are all tinged with Taylor Swift. If I had a nickel for every time you played “Cruel Summer,” I’d still be broke because clearly, you’re out here giving her the love she never asked for. If listening to T-Swift was a sport, you’d have as many gold medals as she has cat pictures on her Instagram. Are you running a fan club or just chronically playing “Folklore” on repeat? Country, Red Dirt, Soft Pop, and then a snatch of Hip Hop and Indie Folk? Carolyn, are you trying to create a musical jigsaw puzzle no one wants to solve? It’s like “choose your own adventure” for sad high schoolers, but you just keep picking the chapter where crying in your car is the protagonist's only character development. Your top artists are less a curated list and more like a 3 AM “whatever's on radio” playlist that even Spotify shudders to recommend. Come on, sweetie, how many times do we need to hear "The Lumineers" cry about lost love before we realize they’re just stuck in an emotional traffic jam? And let’s talk about those most played songs—if the amount of Taylor Swift you listen to were calories, you’d be the reason for the next rise in the obesity epidemic. The way you’ve got Taylor’s discography on a loop, I’m starting to think you should consider a career as her personal assistant. Seriously, at this point, you’re no longer a fan; you’re basically her emotional support human. Do us all a favor and at least throw in a couple of songs from your hip-hop section before your playlist devolves into the world’s softest breakup soundtrack.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!