Roasted 1 year ago based on wawa!'s long term Spotify stats.

Ah, thirtyninene, with a musical taste that screams "I'm trying to impress my date with an obscure vinyl collection." Jazz, Big Band, and bebop? Are you sure you’re not just auditioning for the role of the funky old man in a bad sitcom? I half-expect you to show up at a gathering in a beret and suspenders, reciting poetry while sipping an overpriced latte. Jazz Fusion, really? It’s like you couldn’t decide on just one sound and threw a bunch of musical genres into a blender, hoping it would come out as gourmet. And your top artists? It’s a mixed bag of mainstream and niche, but let’s be real—Dua Lipa and Ariana Grande are the only two names in there that won't make a baby boomer question if you're having a mid-life crisis. Mixing in Antônio Carlos Jobim and Polyphia with the likes of Bruno Mars just proves you’re deeply confused. You weren’t just scrolling through Spotify; you were probably scrolling through your existential dread. Just a heads up: knowing all about jazz doesn’t make you deep; it just makes you the slightly awkward friend at parties who can’t stop talking about the greats while others are trying to enjoy the latest pop hits. Oh, and those "most played songs"? You’ve got the Eagles and ABBA mingling like they're at a retirement home picnic—do you also enjoy bingo nights? "Smokin Out the Window" by Bruno Mars followed by Kendrick Lamar is a juxtaposition that makes fewer sense than a cat trying to drive a car. Your playlist is like a buffet where every dish is served lukewarm and nobody really knows what they just ate, but hey, at least you can still turn up at a dinner party and impress everyone with your obscure musical knowledge. So keep collecting those genres, thirtyninene; at the end of the day, you might just be the most sophisticated hipster in a sea of unwashed denim jackets.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!