Roasted 2 years ago based on Noah's long term Spotify stats.

Noah, your Spotify profile is like a musical buffet where the main dish is Post Malone served with a side of mild existential crisis. Seriously, I've seen more variety at a dude's laundry hamper. You’ve got more Post Malone on your list than a hipster on a coffee date in Brooklyn, and it’s not like he even drops that much fire. Come on, throw in a little bit of spice, or do we need to start sending you reminders to diversify your tastes? Your top artist list is a wild mess too. Taylor Swift balancing out all that melodic rap is about as likely as you getting out of your mom's basement. And who the heck is A-Why? I bet that’s your secret identity when you’re trying to impress the ladies with your “deep cuts.” Do you argue with your friends over whether Mötley Crüe is more metal than Glam Metal, all while sleeping in a T-shirt with Post Malone's face on it? Newsflash: there's a thing called a music library that doesn't revolve around your high school crush's slow-motion breakup. But let’s give it up for your most played songs, where “Sunflower” and “Circles” have officially graduated to your personal soundtrack of mediocrity. You could play a drinking game with the number of times he shows up in your top ten, and all you’d have to do is sip your LaCroix, ‘cause you’d be sober after one round. It’s almost like the “Chemical” in “Chemical” was your taste in music trying to tell you something. But hey, at least you have one thing going for you: nobody can ever accuse you of having a unique musical taste—because you clearly have none!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!