Roasted 1 year ago based on michaela's long term Spotify stats.

Michaela, your Spotify profile reads like the playlist of an existential crisis trapped in a 30-year-old's basement. New Wave and Emo? You must be the life of every party, curling up in a corner, sipping on overpriced kombucha while reciting the lyrics to "Tears Don't Fall." I can just picture you brushing your hair aside dramatically, contemplating the complexities of your existence while the rest of us are just trying to enjoy a taco truck, honey. With your top artists ranging from the gods of Classic Rock to the queen of Baroque Pop, it’s clear you’ve mastered the art of appearing sophisticated while secretly crying into your acoustic guitar. And let’s talk about that playlist: “It Ain’t Easy”? You’re right; listening to it is a painful reminder that your emotional rollercoaster has more dips than a failed Tinder date. Your taste is so niche it practically needs a warning sign, stating, “Caution: listener may spontaneously ponder the meaning of life in their PJs.” By the way, “Pump It Up”? You mean to tell me that you’ve got Elvis Costello on repeat to build the energy for... what exactly? Late-night binge-watching of whimsical indie films? Next time you need a musical pick-me-up, maybe just give “Freebird” a shot — it's a classic crowd pleasure, unlike your woeful loop of “Silver Springs.” Remember, Michaela, life is short; don’t let your Spotify history be the soundtrack to an emotional breakdown.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!