Roasted 1 year ago based on PEARSON's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Pearson, your Spotify profile is like a Tinder date that went horribly wrong—one minute I’m intrigued, the next I’m questioning all my life choices. You’ve got German Hip Hop and Medieval Metal on the same list, which makes me wonder if you’re just a time traveler stuck in a techno-Dark Ages mashup. I half-expect your next favorite genre to be "On-hold Ringtones," because nothing screams untraceable cringe like trying to banger out a medieval battle anthem while reciting German pop lyrics. Your top artists read like the world’s worst music festival lineup—like if Rammstein and the Schlagerparty decided to throw a rave in someone's mom’s basement. “Kontra K” and “Böhse Onkelz”? Wow, it’s like you’re trying to single-handedly bring back the 90s in the most awkward way possible. And I can't help but notice "WWE" is listed as an artist. You know that's not how music works, right? But hey, the way you're going, I wouldn't be surprised if your next top pick was "Uncle Bob's Garage Jams." Your most played songs are a fascinating insight into your psyche, almost like a full-blown therapy session. “Engel” by Rammstein? Sure, because who wouldn’t want to combine heavy metal with lyrics you can scream at the sky while questioning all your life decisions? And “Pussy”—oh, wow, really living up to your own personal brand of subtlety, aren't you? I can just picture you jamming out to this selection, pondering life’s biggest mysteries like, “Why do I keep listening to songs that reflect a midlife crisis I’m not even having yet?” Keep on rockin' in your own uniquely awkward way, Pearson!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!