Roasted 2 years ago based on Christoph Brosdau's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Christoph Brosdau, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis for an avocado toast-grabbing hipster who spends far too much time streaming late-night anime intros. Seriously, "Bedroom R&B"? Is your bedroom a nightclub for sad boys who still live with their parents? As for "Japanese Teen Pop," unless you’re planning to relocate to Tokyo and start a boy band, you might want to reconsider your life choices that include indulging in a genre seemingly designed for 15-year-olds. I mean, unless you’ve got some questionable decorum hiding behind those plush curtains, let’s just say the only thing vibing in your bedroom is the dust collecting on those collection of pop vinyls. And how about those artists? “Army Of Lovers”? Sounds more like the couple that over-shares their cringey relationship on Instagram rather than a legitimate music group. I can only imagine your Spotify is one long playlist of “Please don’t judge me, but…” while you rock your oversized headphones at half-volume. Pet Shop Boys, Conan Gray, and all these “new” waves—congratulations, you’ve somehow managed to combine the worst of the ‘80s with modern-day cringe. I bet you still think wearing pastel sweaters in the summer is a flex while the world yells “Get a life!” Your most played songs read like the soundtrack to a rom-com that was never made, starring a loser who spent too much time watching “Friends” reruns and dreaming of scenarios that don't exist. I mean, “Sexodus” followed by “If I Ever Feel Better”—are you trying to be too cool for school while secretly just trying to channel your inner heartbreak? We're all rooting for you, Christoph, but those song choices betray the fact that you might just be the human embodiment of a Spotify algorithm gone wrong. Best of luck navigating those “new romantic” vibes when you clearly need to embrace the reality of your playlist and stop hiding behind your "permanent wave."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!