Roasted 1 month ago based on salmon ochazuke's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, salmon ochazuke, the Spotify profile that’s got all the music taste of a hipster at a farmer’s market, sporting a beanie in the middle of summer. You’ve somehow managed to curate a playlist that screams, “I’m too cool for mainstream, but also I can’t let go of my angsty 2000s phase.” The mix of retro soul and nu metal is like combining a fine wine with a Big Mac—totally clashing. Is this an attempt at emotional depth, or are you just lost on your journey from pop to pretentiousness? Your top artists read like a list of every band that could possibly get you slightly buzzed at a party before everyone realizes you’ve been trolling everyone with this eclectic mess. Thee Sinseers and Deftones? Congratulations, you managed to pair those who sing about heartbreak with guys who just want to scream about it. What's next on the agenda? A deep dive into the politics of Jangle Pop? At this rate, you should probably write a thesis on the unholy union of your Spotify algorithm and your midlife crisis. And let’s talk about your "most played" songs, shall we? How has “No One Noticed” by The Marías become your anthem? Because clearly, that’s exactly how you want to be treated in the digital age—as an obscure footnote in a list no one asked for. You've somehow given “basic” a brand-new definition; it’s like if someone collected all the songs that you could pretend to know in front of your artsy friends. At this point, your profile should come with a warning: “Caution, might cause existential crises and an urge to order overpriced coffee.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!