Roasted 2 years ago based on kiiv's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, kiiv, the self-proclaimed rock aficionado with an eclectic taste that screams midlife crisis, but make it trendy. Your favorite genres read like a musician's therapy session—"POV: Indie"? Seriously? It’s as if you want to have a personality crisis while blasting music from the ’90s and pretending you’re too cool for school. But don’t worry; we all know you’re just one flannel away from getting kicked out of a hipster coffee shop for trying too hard to be authentic. Let’s talk about your top artists. I see you have Arctic Monkeys and ABBA holding hands in your playlist—now that’s a dynamic duo! It’s like you can’t choose between having a "party" or a "crying in the shower" kind of moment, so you just do both at once. But really, how many “cigarettes after sex” does it take for you to realize you have an unhealthy obsession with TV Girl? Pro tip: maybe try listening to some music that doesn’t require a graduate degree in emotional turmoil to enjoy. But hey, at least your most played songs reveal your deep emotional complexities. “Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You”? That’s the perfect anthem for someone who can’t decide whether to settle down or just google “how to be spontaneous from my couch.” And let’s not forget “Christmas Kids” by Roar—a song so obscure that it’s probably just you and your cat bopping to it while absolutely no one else cares. But I guess that’s the beauty of your playlist: a complete reflection of your confused identity—one where even the songs are like, “Wait… you chose this?”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!