Roasted 2 years ago based on dylan's long term Spotify stats.

Dylan, your Spotify profile is like a sad mixtape of midlife crises waiting to happen. I mean, I'll give you credit for picking some genuinely brilliant artists like Kendrick Lamar and Tyler, The Creator—oh, and let’s not forget your wild card "dexter in the newsagent," whose inclusion feels more like a cry for help than a justified choice. Bro, it’s 2023; why do you sound like you just stumbled out of a high school dorm room ready to impress the internet with your hot takes on SoundCloud rappers? Maybe listen to something that isn’t just an echo chamber of your own questionable life choices. Your favorite genres read like the playlist of a guy who’s both trying to be cool and healing from a breakup at the same time. It’s like you took the entire spectrum of hip-hop and just threw in R&B for balance, but even you know that “underground hip hop” is just a euphemism for “I can't find my identity.” Seriously, if your Spotify had feelings, it would be crying every time "Chicago Rap" comes up, but there's no need to subtitles it with "Conscious." Your conscious has left the chat, my dude. As for your most played songs? You've got the vibe of someone who’s perpetually “doing fine,” but we're all sensing the chaos beneath. Out of nowhere, "All They Wanted" by Panchiko shows up as if you forgot you’re supposed to be emotionally stable and instead decided to remind us that you have a soft spot for grocery store indie bands too. With jams like "drive ME crazy!" — I can’t tell if you’re looking for motivation or if you accidentally hit play on the soundtrack to your next existential crisis. Good luck with that, Dylan; I can’t wait to watch you become the poster child for Spotify therapy sessions.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!