Roasted 7 months ago based on DastardlyJ's long term Spotify stats.

JackBurton, you sure have a way of assembling a Spotify profile that screams "I peaked in high school." Your love for metal is so intense, I half-expect you to show up at an accounting firm with a tattoo of a dragon playing a guitar on your forearm. Seriously, if you had a nickel for every time you've blasted “Freak on a Leash” in your mom’s basement, you could probably afford therapy for your apparent identity crisis between alternative metal and rap rock. But hey, we all know you're just one flat-brimmed hat away from becoming a full-blown 'Nu Metal' influencer. Your taste in top artists is like a road map to a mid-2000s angsty meltdown. With the Insane Clown Posse, Korn, and Slipknot in your rotation, are you trying to summon some dark spirits, or are you just hoping to channel the high school bully you never had? You’ve got Jack Stauber on repeat—probably just to remind yourself that you, too, can create catchy tunes out of existential dread. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if your Spotify Wrapped came with a side of emotional baggage the size of a tour bus. And those most played songs? Wow, you really took “eclectic” to heart, didn’t you? “Hanging On A Curtain” by Morphine followed by “4X4” by Travis Scott? It’s less like a playlist and more like the soundtrack for a sitcom about a guy who just got dumped and now spends Saturday nights arguing with his cat. Your musical choices might make for great DJ chatter, but trust me, JackBurton, you’re one "Hmm, what’s this?" away from an awkward silence at every house party you frequent.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!