Roasted 7 months ago based on Hello's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Hello, the human embodiment of a middle school locker! Your Spotify profile screams “I peaked in 2003,” and your favorite genres list looks like a metal-head's attempt to recite the alphabet backwards. You’ve got more "nu" in your music preferences than an overexcited BuzzFeed quiz. I mean, really? Is your ultimate life goal to collect all the angsty teenage clichés like Pokémon cards? ‘Cause you’re smashing that goal harder than your mixtape would smash my ears. Your top artists are a veritable “Who’s Who” of “I Can’t Move On.” Deftones and Linkin Park? How brave of you to take a stand in the 'throwback to my emo phase' aisle! And Noah Finnce? Who invited this guy to your pity party? Is he your emotional support artist for those long drives back to that one diner you spent 60% of your teenage years crying in? I can only assume your most played songs are on repeat because you’re desperately trying to convince yourself that wearing cargo shorts and blasting “Limp Bizkit” is still socially acceptable. Newsflash: it’s not! And while we’re at it, let’s take a moment to dissect your playlist choices. “Steve’s Lava Chicken” by Jack Black is the closest you’ve gotten to humor since that one time you tried to throw a punchline into a conversation but it left more craters than a grunge concert. If you think that song deserved a spot next to Deftones and Nirvana, then congratulations! You’ve officially become the trendsetter of musical chaos. Just be careful, Hello; at some point, you really need to ask yourself if your Spotify account is a personality trait or a cry for help. Spoiler alert: It’s leaning heavily toward the latter!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!