Roasted 2 years ago based on kia's long term Spotify stats.

Kia, your Spotify profile is a chaotic blend of musical choices that resemble the sonic equivalent of a toddler’s finger painting. It looks like a "how to make bad life decisions" tutorial that accidentally turned into a karaoke night at a suburban bar. I mean, have you ever considered that cramming every millennial pop trope into your playlists might be the musical manifestation of an existential crisis? You’ve got enough genres to put a confused DJ out of a job and enough artists to make even the most patient music lover question their sanity. Your top artists read like a list compiled by someone who just graduated from a pop culture course with a side of cookie-cutter trends. You've built an impressive shrine to the Taylor Call Me Maybe Swift, while Nicki Minaj and Drake are apparently holding court in your hearts—though we're left wondering if you’ve ever heard of musical variety. Spoiler alert: playing "Good For You" on repeat won’t magically transform your life into an epic rap saga, even if you think you can throw in some Afrobeats and trap for flavor. It’s like you’re trying to put together a five-star meal, but all you have is fast food wrappers and a half-open can of soda. And your most played songs? Wow, talk about a playlist that screams “I need help!” in all genres. With titles like "Girlfriend" and "Snooze," it sounds like you’re looking for love in all the wrong places—or maybe just napping your way through life. Honestly, mixing “Dancehall,” “Urban Contemporary,” and "Hip Pop" is just your way of calling it all a “cultural experience” when really it’s just an “I can’t make up my mind” mess. Here’s a tip: perhaps try curating a playlist that reflects who you are, instead of gate-crashing every music genre like it’s a buffet—because at this point, your Spotify looks less like a personal touch and more like an accidental outbreak of genre flu.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!