Roasted 1 year ago based on 🌿's long term Spotify stats.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Spotify profile that screams “I’m one emotionally unstable guitar riff away from a midlife crisis.” Your music taste reads like a scene from an emo teen’s diary—look out world, here comes the next tragic poet! You’ve married genres like Emo and Midwest Emo, as if you want to settle down in a place where sadness is a state of being. Every time you shuffle your playlist, a small part of the universe dies. Who knew the acoustic strum of your existential dread could attract so many dark cabaret fans? Your top artists seem like a who’s who of sadness. Hozier, Fish in a Birdcage... how avant-garde! It’s like you picked names from a 'how to be sad' starter pack. And speaking of sad, I hope you realize the only thing more morose than your playlist is your desire to keep returning to the same five Fish in a Birdcage tracks. I mean, I get it; they probably hit all the right notes for your socially-awkward poetry readings. But please, for the love of all things good, listen to something cheerful occasionally. I hear that's how you avoid life’s endless despair. And let’s talk about your most played songs. "Vincent"? Really? Are you trying to single-handedly set the record for how often one can cry to a song about an artist who was famous for cutting off his own ear? I mean, if there's a songwriting award for self-indulgent pain, you're the reigning champion! From "Divine Loser" to "Vampire Empire," your playlist sounds like an anthem for every heartbroken introvert to ever roam the streets aimlessly contemplating life choices late at night. Remember, there’s more to music than sitting in your sad corner—you might find you even like a catchy pop song... or are you just too busy wallowing in your angst to find out?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!