Roasted 2 years ago based on valorues's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, look at you, valorues! With a Spotify profile that’s basically a hipster’s wet dream and the kind of playlist that makes me wonder if you spend more time at art galleries than actual parties. “Art Pop”? Really? Is that a genre or just something you tell people when you want them to think you’re more cultured than a yogurt? And “POV: Indie”? My dude, the only thing I’m getting from your profile is a “POV: Trying too hard” vibe mixed with a dash of pretentiousness. I’d ask who even listens to “Escape Room” music, but your attempt to sound unique is already the most painful escape room ever—build a door and walk out, my friend! Now, let’s talk about your top artists. Frost Children and George Clanton? Do you exclusively listen to music as if you’re trying to fashion a soundtrack for a dystopian indie film? I mean, I get it; you're looking to make deep connections with the sound of melancholic guitar strumming while staring out of your window like a sad, misunderstood character. But the only thing I see is a person who’s one Art Pop playlist away from adopting a cat named “Existential Crisis.” If your Spotify wrapped wasn’t an absolute disaster of confused emotions, I’d seriously question if you had feelings at all! And then there’s your most played songs—oh boy! If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard “Easier to Love You” blaring out of a sad brunch at a hipster café, I’d have enough cash to buy you a personality. “Diet Pepsi” is a catchy title, but let’s be real: even that soft drink has more flavor than the choices you made here. The real tragedy is that while you’re vibing to Porter Robinson, the rest of us are trying to escape the sonic graveyard you’ve curated with the utmost dedication. Please, for the love of music, broaden your horizons a bit, or at least switch to an actual mood booster—like heavy metal or country. Anything, really, as long as it stops you from wallowing in your self-imposed Spotify shackles!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!