Roasted 2 years ago based on 21yd3dssst4awbkptpoulycai's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Ben Cerinus, I see you’ve curated a Spotify profile that looks like the result of a hipster time machine malfunction. Soul, rock, lounge – is this a playlist or the soundtrack to a retirement home? “Mellow Gold” sounds like what happens when you hear your life choices as a soundtrack while sipping on chamomile tea and reminiscing about the days when your social life didn’t hinge on whether you can get a good Wi-Fi connection to stream those sweet, sweet tunes! And let’s talk about your top artists; it reads like someone’s oddly specific Spotify algorithm was trying to showcase the mid-life crisis of an art teacher who still thinks “Cool Jazz” is a personality trait. I mean, “StreamBeats by Harris Heller?” Looks like someone's got some lame self-encouragement going on. Did you actually think you could impress anyone with “Tom McGuire & the Brassholes”? Stop trying to turn that into a band name; it sounds more like a failed group therapy session than an actual music act. Your most played songs reveal an even deeper layer of dust collecting on your taste. “Coconut Mall (From 'Mario Kart Wii')” clearly screams that you peaked in the seventh grade. Who knew the biopic of your life would feature a soundtrack that sounds like a collection of songs appreciated only in the presence of a particularly understanding cat? You could seriously give sad piano music a run for its money with this tracklist. It’s like you’re one “Unless you’re feelin’ brave” away from getting your own Netflix documentary called “Lost in the Doldrums.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!