Roasted 3 months ago based on Gardenia's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Gardenia, your Spotify profile reads like the diary of an indecisive hipster who couldn't decide between a haircut and an existential crisis. "Bedroom Pop?" We get it, you're trying to make it sound relatable, but we both know that deep down, you wish life was just like one of those TikTok videos where everyone’s making avocado toast while you’re still stuck in your pajamas with a few too many empty wine bottles scattered around. And can we talk about those favorite genres? "Riot Grrrl" and "Punk," huh? How very rebellious of you to include “Garage Rock” as if you were going to turn it into a lifestyle choice during your five-minute rebellious phase. As for those top artists, it seems you like them the same way most of us like our avocado toast: trendy, overpriced, and just a little too mainstream. Arctic Monkeys, Hozier, and David Bowie are all solid choices, sure, but including Chappell Roan and Wallows in there? It's like adding a side of soggy kale to a perfectly good burger. Are you trying to impress people at parties with your eclectic taste or just craving the attention of whoever also shares your passion for obscure Spotify deep cuts? Either way, we can smell the desperate whiff of social media clout from a mile away. And then there’s your most played songs list. "Red Wine Supernova" and "Good Luck, Babe!" clearly prove the only thing getting unlucky here is your dating life! I mean, with this playlist, it’s like you’re trying to soundtrack a coming-of-age film where no one comes of age because they’re still arguing over who's going to take out the trash. So, while you're letting your midwest emo side shine, just know you might want to add a new genre: "Hopelessly Lost,” because with those choices, it’s clear you’re searching for something…anything, really.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!