Roasted 2 years ago based on Van's long term Spotify stats.

Van, your Spotify profile reads like the love child of a middle-school dance party and a salsa party at a retirement home. I mean, it's literally a dictionary of catchy hooks and heartbreaks, and we all know you can't handle either. You’ve got more K-Pop on your playlist than a sixteen-year-old girl on TikTok, which is a bold move. What are you trying to prove here? That you have the emotional depth of a puddle while vibing to the soundtracks of people who actually know how to dance? Your favorite artists list sounds like the lineup for a community fair talent show, but instead, you've decided to pretend it's an elite concert. Is this the best you’ve got? I could turn on any random radio station and hear the same songs, but you somehow managed to sift through all of humanity's musical offerings and still only snagged the pop hits that will have me questioning your entire life. And let’s be real, who still listens to Fifth Harmony? That's so 2016, yet here you are, clinging onto them like a toddler with a security blanket. And those top songs? Wow, talk about basic. "Delicate" and "Sad Girl" raise a flag! You must be studying loneliness as a serious musical genre. Given your love for “Mexican Pop” and Enrique Iglesias, I'm willing to bet that your real hobby is shedding tears over missed oportunidades while twirling in your living room like you're auditioning for a reality show. Keep it up, Van. With such taste, all you need is a pet cat and a collection of scented candles to complete the sad-but-fun girl aesthetic.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!