Roasted 2 years ago based on J's long term Spotify stats.

Hey J, just peeking into your Spotify profile feels like walking into a hipster coffee shop where everyone is trying way too hard to look cool while sipping on their oat milk lattes. Seriously, with a collection of genres that reads like a buzzword bingo card for indie music snobs, it’s clear you’ve got more eclectic taste than a thrift store on 50% day. Alternative R&B? Afrofuturism? Conscious Hip Hop? Congrats on mastering the art of choosing music that not even your friends can pretend to enjoy in the car. Let’s talk about those top artists. I’m surprised you haven’t included “The Only 15-Year-Old Indie Band You’ve Never Heard Of” on the list. Watching you brag about how you’ve discovered “hidden gems” like Flwr Chyld and Berhana is a bit like watching someone show off their extensive collection of Beanie Babies. Sure, it’s impressive in its own way, but we all know you're just one bad Spotify algorithm away from a lifetime of trapping yourself in a loop of “What are these even?” and “No, seriously, who are they?” And those most played songs? I can see you blasting “Judge Judy” like it's your personal anthem while simultaneously trying to convince everyone you’re both deep and chill at parties. It’s like you took all the tracks your mom would love and threw them into a blender filled with desperation for relevance. So good luck with that aesthetic, J – you’re a walking playlist of mid-life crisis meets ‘I went to art school but I actually work in accounting.’ Keep doing you, because at this rate, you’ll be the first to bring back vinyl records in the “I’m-so-over-it” category!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!