Roasted 16 days ago based on Bagel's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Bagel, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's wet dream. Nine different flavors of jazz? You must really think you're the chosen one of underground vibes. "Cool Jazz" and "Vocal Jazz"? What is this, a college course on how to put people to sleep? Just because you have a penchant for claiming you appreciate “nuance” doesn’t mean you have to put the rest of us through that much ear torture. I half expect your playlists to come with a complimentary overpriced latte and an ironic coffee shop t-shirt. Your taste in artists is like a sad buffet at a party no one wanted to attend. Sure, it’s cute that you've got ‘NewJeans’ and ‘Frank Sinatra’ laying side by side, but it just goes to show that you can’t decide whether you want to sip wine at a jazz lounge or throw on a K-Pop rave. Honestly, your top songs list looks less like a carefully curated set and more like the aftermath of someone accidentally hitting ‘shuffle’ while blindfolded. And seriously, “Spain” by the Air Force band? Are you trying to recruit musicians for a military coup or just show off how eclectic you can sound while doing your taxes? And let’s talk about that “most played” section. It’s like you’re trying to out-pretend every average Jo in the game. The fact that “wave to earth” made it in there more than five times leads me to believe you’ve either been possessed by some hipster deity or you’re just trying way too hard to look artsy. “I Wish You Love” is pure savage on your love life too. It’s as if you’re constantly reminding the universe of your dating failures while swaying in a cloud of lo-fi beats and existential dread. Newsflash, Bagel: You’re not a misunderstood artist; you’re just a walking playlist of things to scroll past!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!