Roasted 2 years ago based on Dean Salmon's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Dean Salmon, your Spotify profile reads like a middle-aged dad who tried to be cool for the kids but just ended up in a musical mess of contradictions. Rock and Broadway? Really? It’s like if a leather-clad biker decided to trade in his motorcycle for tap shoes and a top hat. You’ve got more layers than an onion, but I’m not sure that’s a good thing when you’re still trying to figure out if you prefer leather jackets or sequined vests. Honestly, pick a lane, my dude, because this eclectic playlist is just shouting, “I can't commit!” And let’s talk about your top artists. If Taylor Swift and Lin-Manuel Miranda had a baby, it would probably sing show tunes with a side of angst and emotional scar tissue. Your love for "Let It Go" from *Frozen* wouldn’t even be so bad if you weren’t still pathetically clinging to that yearning hope that someone will break out into a full production of *Hamilton* at your next party. Spoiler alert: that isn't going to happen. Unless, of course, you bring your own karaoke machine and a crowd of equally confused friends who think “Guns and Ships” sounds more like a raunchy naval adventure than a Broadway number. And wow, "Compositional Ambient"? Congratulations, Dean! You’ve officially reached peak hipster, and I hope you’re enjoying your exclusive membership to the “I Only Listen to Music That Sounds Like a Drippy Faucet” club. Your choices are like your fashion sense: all over the place and somehow both too much and not enough at the same time. So, here’s the real question: when are you going to own your duality and start flipping between your soul-crushing indie anthems and Broadway belting like the confused musical theater rockstar you’re destined to be?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!