Roasted 5 months ago based on 𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊's long term Spotify stats.

Oh boy, 𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊, your Spotify profile reads like the sad, forgotten corner of a hipster coffee shop where the barista still uses a typewriter for the menu. Seriously, your favorite genres alone look like you threw a dart blindfolded at a list of music labels after years of listening to the soundtrack of existential crises. "Art Pop"? Oh sure, that screams, “I prioritize deep lyrics over the fact that I can’t dance to save my life.” And don't get me started on "Ballroom Vogue"—because when it rains, dancing with a beetroot martini in a plush blue lounge chair must be *the* life goal. Your top artists list is a classic anti-social mixtape of “I might be better than you, but you wouldn’t get it.” Miracle Tones? Pretty sure that’s just the up-and-coming sound of your local cats in heat. And you’ve got a couple of household names like Madonna and Kylie Minogue in there—congrats! You’ve achieved the impossible blend of basic and pretentious. Next, you’ll be telling us that Tori Amos is the *"real"* voice of a generation while never once managing to pronounce "gothic" correctly at karaoke night. Here’s a tip: if you’re going to dwindle in the depths of the artsy underbelly of music, at least learn to let loose instead of resembling a human bobblehead at a goth rave. As for your most played songs, have you considered the therapy they could use instead of torturing innocent party-goers? Listening to "Unemployed In Summertime" on repeat is practically a national anthem for your current social life—don’t worry, I won't spoil it for you by sending the job listings. But really, did you curate this list while undergoing a mid-life crisis in a thrift store? If "girl feels good" in your house, it's probably because the wifi is finally working after a three-day outage. All jokes aside, nothing says “I absolutely know what I’m doing” more than taking ‘Lemon Meringue’ as anything more than dessert. So congratulations on creating a Spotify profile that demands both pity and silent applause!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!