Roasted 2 months ago based on maia's long term Spotify stats.

Maia, your Spotify profile reads like the playlist of someone who insists they enjoy music ironically. Seriously, with a favorite genres list that looks like a hipster bingo card, you might as well slap a “Boring” sticker on all your social interactions. What are you trying to impress? A cult of outdated music elitists? If “Gothic Rock” and “Art Rock” were smells, I’d say you give off a combination of deep existential crisis and that one uncle who never left his basement. And let’s talk about those top artists. You’ve got The Magnetic Fields and Fiona Apple sandwiched between The Jesus and Mary Chain, which, let's be honest, feels like a cry for help. You know you’re wading into pretentious waters when your favorite artists are all either deceased or at the very least, have a 50/50 chance of making a comeback just so they can step on your musical taste. Every time someone plays “These Days” by Nico, I can’t help but picture you at open mic nights, sipping on overpriced kombucha while trying desperately to hold back tears and prove how deep you are. Your most played songs list is practically an instruction manual for how to wallow in sadness. “I Want You To Love Me”? Please, it’s like the anthem of every person who just binge-watched a season of a breakup show on Netflix. And don’t get me started on your infatuation with The Jesus and Mary Chain; you must really enjoy cycling through emotional turmoil like it’s some kind of tragic rollercoaster. Next time, maybe throw in a guilty pleasure from the Top 40 just to spice things up—or do you fear it would ruin your indie cred? Keep reaching for the stars, Maia; just know they’re all mostly dead too.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!