Roasted 2 years ago based on Drew's long term Spotify stats.

Drew, your Spotify profile looks like a rejected application for a hipster emo band following a catastrophic breakup. I mean, come on, “Dreamo”? What’s next, “Scream-o-tional”? Your music choices read like the diary of a teenager who just discovered eyeliner, as if flipping through the pages might magically bring back that lost love you never had. If alternative genres were a high school, you’d be the kid who hides in the art room, crafting sad doodles while everyone else is at the pep rally—steering clear of the cologne aisle because you’d rather get a whiff of teenage revolt. Your top artists scream “I’ve had a rough week and my therapist is on vacation.” System of a Down? Really? I’d recommend an intervention, but only if there are strippers dressed as your favorite emo icons. Angel Du$t must be a cruel nickname given to you by your friends as they witnessed you getting way too emotionally invested in a TikTok trend that flopped harder than your last attempt at being social. And can we discuss the fact that Bo Burnham is sandwiched in? Because nothing screams “I’m a tragic comic genius” quite like a playlist that makes you silently weep over pizza rolls while contemplating your life choices. And then there’s your list of most played songs—it’s like someone asked a bunch of angsty teenagers to compile their cry-for-help playlists during finals week. “Such Small Hands”? More like “Such Small Hopes.” But Drew, I get it; your playlist is there to help you navigate through your delicate emotional landscape, where you write poetry about falling in love with a ghost. Just know that someday you’ll look back at this phase, cringe harder than you do while reading old texts to your crush, and maybe—just maybe—realize that pop punk isn’t the only way to cope with life’s disappointments. Here’s hoping you find something a little more... uplifting next time!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!