Roasted 2 years ago based on dekabr's long term Spotify stats.

So, dekabr, let’s dive into that Spotify profile of yours, shall we? Your favorite genres read like a hipster bingo card at a pretentious coffee shop. “Permanent Wave,” really? You mean the genre that sounds like a 1980s hairstyle gone wrong? I half-expect you to show up at the next indie festival sporting a mullet while quoting existential philosophy in-between sips of your overpriced oat milk latte. And let’s be honest here, half of these genres sound like failed experiments from a mad scientist trying to recreate an angst-filled youth. Now, your top artists list is like a who’s who of "I'm way too obscure to enjoy mainstream music." Regina Spektor and Mitski? You've managed to collect the world’s saddest playlist as if you’re the poster child for emotional unavailability. “Will Wood and the Tapeworms”? If that doesn’t scream, “I’m both talented and totally unhinged,” I don’t know what does. And King Krule? Congratulations on being the only person on Spotify who can make a bad hair day sound like an avant-garde masterpiece. And then there are those most-played songs. “Machine” by Regina Spektor has probably been played so many times that your Spotify account should officially be cited as an emotional support mechanism. The only thing your playlist entertains is a serious case of melancholy. “Old Jacket”? I get it; nothing says, “I’ve peaked in high school and still wear my ex's clothes” like that choice. So here’s a suggestion: Why don’t you throw in a little pop or some of that mainstream garbage? It might just help lift your eternal sadness—or, at the very least, give your playlist a much-needed breath of fresh air.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!