Roasted 2 years ago based on Carly Jean's long term Spotify stats.

Carly Jean, your Spotify profile reads like the diary of a high schooler who just discovered eyeliner and a Spotify Premium subscription. It’s clear that you’re still searching for your emotional identity, diving into more genres than a confused Netflix account holder. Indie, pop punk, bedroom pop? Who do you think you are—every hipster coffee shop in Brooklyn rolled into one? If I had a dollar for every obscure artist you follow, I could probably buy you a personality that doesn’t revolve around what’s “trendy” at the moment. Your top artists read like an awkward Tinder date mashup. I mean, "Goth Babe" and "Still Woozy"? Are you trying to attract all the sad bois on your feed? And let's not forget your taste in songs—blasting “Angels Like You” right after “Miss You a Little” feels less like a curated playlist and more like a frantic cry for help. If overthinking your feelings was an Olympic sport, you’d take home gold while listening to songs that scream, "Why won’t anyone take me seriously?!" And dear lord, "Permanent Wave"? I have to wonder if you just Googled music terms to spice up your profile, because it sounds like a hairstyle that went out of style faster than your last relationship. With your eclectic mix of emo bops and bedroom-pop vibes, I'm still debating whether you’re curating a Spotify profile or trying to establish a cult. Either way, Carly Jean, you’re the human equivalent of a Pinterest board, and that’s not a compliment.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!