Roasted 1 month ago based on Cassia's long term Spotify stats.

Cassia, your Spotify profile reads like the diary of a high schooler who stays up way too late watching sad TikToks. "Bedroom Pop"? Seriously? I didn't realize we were grading the emotional maturity of your playlist based on how well it pairs with a face mask and some tear-soaked pillows. If it ain't about separation anxiety or unrequited love, it's not making the cut. You’re basically one sad song away from starting a support group for people who need a hug and forty minutes of validation. And what is this genre lineup? "Post-Punk," "Gothic Rock," and "Darkwave"? I get it: you want to portray yourself as a well-rounded individual with a flair for the dramatic. But let’s be real—all of these genres are the musical equivalent of wearing black lipstick and talking about your pain while hiding in the shadows. Your love for "Progressive Metal" is the only spice in this white girl playlist—that, or the time you switched up your Starbucks order for a grande black coffee just to feel edgy. But no worries, "Metalcore" will still blend seamlessly with your inner angst while you scroll through Instagram posts in search of your next identity crisis. Let's not even start on those top artists! You've got girl in red, Sabrina Carpenter, and Doja Cat right next to The Cure and Sleep Token. That’s like pairing a fine wine with a box of stale Oreos. You’re curating a soundtrack for an existential crisis that wrestles with itself between brunch and a midnight TikTok binge. I guess as long as you keep that emotional rollercoaster going, your Spotify will just keep reminding you how many playlists it takes to express your inner turmoil, like an overdramatic teenager stuck with a broken record.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!