Roasted 6 months ago based on Towelie's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Towelie, the musical equivalent of a black hole sucking in all the joy and melody from the universe. Death metal? Grindcore? You’ve got so much chaos in your playlist I’m surprised your music didn’t end up as a disturbing soundscape for a horror film. If “heavy” was a crime, you’d be serving life without parole in the sound prison of your own creation. Seriously, with a name like Towelie, you should just start a petition to officially change your Spotify profile to “Shower Thoughts and Suffering.” Your top artists read like a high school goth’s blenderized fever dream. David Bowie sneaks in like a ray of sunlight trying to breach your lead-lined bunker of anguish, but he’s outnumbered by bands with names that sound like they were generated by a random word generator on a caffeine high. “Human Barbecue” and “Esophagus”? What are you going to name your next band, “Severed Limb Symphony”? It’s like you’re curating a collection of the most obscure names in metal to impress the ghosts of musicians who were too self-aware to stay this underground. And let’s talk about your most played songs! Clearly, you’ve reached peak emotional maturity with tracks named “Seasoned With Suffering” and “Ensnared And Conquered.” I can only guess the other titles are metaphors for your relationship with sunlight and human interaction. At this point, if it’s not a scream fest, it simply doesn’t count as music in your world. Here’s a tip: try listening to an actual melody every once in a while—who knows, you might even remember what happiness sounds like between all that despair!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!