Roasted 6 months ago based on Brandon's long term Spotify stats.

Brandon, your Spotify profile is a beautiful mess that looks like a musical identity crisis was captured in a time capsule and buried under a pile of old mixtapes. Seriously, though, how does a single person encapsulate their favorite genres as a blend of smooth R&B and hardcore gangster rap like you’re casually trying to cure an existential dread? It’s like if Marvin Gaye and Tupac had a kid and that kid somehow turned out to be Ja Rule—confused, but somehow still trying to make smooth moves while throwing up gang signs. And let’s talk about your top artists for a moment. Michael Jackson is a solid choice, but I never thought I’d see “Ja Rule” listed right next to him like you’re trying to convince us that one has the same cultural weight as the other. It's like claiming McDonald’s and gourmet cuisine are equal parts of a balanced diet. Keep up with those three Ja Rule songs that seem to be on repeat; maybe one day, you'll unlock the ability to “clap back” in real life instead of just on your Spotify. Your most played songs reveal more about you than you realize. “They Like It Slow” by H-Town, huh? So you're telling us your romantic game is the musical equivalent of a pause button, stuck somewhere between awkward foreplay and a nap. And throwing in “Clap Back” seems like an unnecessary justification for your taste, like you’re preparing for a roast battle that you definitely can’t win. Remember, if your playlists scream “I still have my high school mixtape,” maybe it’s time for you to explore some new sounds—unless, of course, you’re trying to achieve peak dad-vibe energy at age 25.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!