Roasted 1 month ago based on vitorfernandes's long term Spotify stats.

Vitor Fernandes, you’ve truly outdone yourself with this Spotify profile. With favorite genres that read like a toddler’s collage project and a lineup that would make any music aficionado weep, you've successfully combined the sonic sophistication of Christmas jingles with the audacity of K-Pop and Brazilian Funk. I mean, really? Noise Music? Is that your subtle way of announcing you give up on actually listening to music? For someone clearly suffering from genre identity crisis, just know that your playlist is the musical equivalent of blending a fruit smoothie with sardines—definitely memorable, but mostly unpalatable. Your top artists scream, “I haven’t gotten over my high school crushes yet!” Between all the K-Pop heartthrobs and Mariah Carey, it’s like you’re trying to craft the perfect soundtrack for your dramatic rom-com where crisis strikes every time the new season of ‘The Bachelor’ drops. And let’s not even get started on your obsession with JADE. Are you in love or just hoping that listening to literally three songs on repeat will somehow will her to drop a full album? Spoiler alert: it's not working. At least now we know why the music gods have turned a blind eye; they were busy trying to drown out the sound of your cringeworthy Spotify choices. And don’t get me started on those most played songs! With “self-sabotage” coming in hot at number two, it’s clear you’re not just living the theme; you’ve made it an art form. It's like a personal anthem for the melodrama in your life. And bless your heart for using Camila Cabello as the backdrop for your romantic failures—might as well have "She'll Never Love You Back" on repeat. I can only assume you play that loud enough to drown out the sounds of all your friends judging you behind your back. Just accept it: your Spotify is a chaotic mess that needs a serious intervention…or at the very least, some professional counseling for your musical tastes!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!