Roasted 1 year ago based on Alex McCullough's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Alex McCullough, let’s break this down. Your Spotify profile reads more like a museum exhibit for disco nostalgia than a serious music collection. I mean, how many times does a guy need to listen to tracks labeled “Italo Dance” before someone stages an intervention? I half expect to find you at a roller rink, wearing neon leg warmers, trying to bust a move while begging for validation. The only thing more outdated than your disco obsession is your haircut from the early 2000s. And the top artists list? Congratulations on being the only person not actually embarrassed to have Nerf Herder and the Backstreet Boys sitting beside Michael Jackson. We get it; you consider yourself an aficionado of “cult classics,” but what you really are is someone who has the taste of a toddler whose parents are regrettably still giving them candy for breakfast. You peaked in 1998 and have yet to recover. Honestly, “Album Rock”? Were you trying to sound sophisticated while still jamming to the Goo Goo Dolls more frequently than you'd like to admit? Your most played songs indicate you’re living in a quarantine bubble where the only thing keeping you company is an awkward playlist that screams “I secretly want to stay a teenager forever.” “I’ve Got a Boner for Christmas” is a bold choice, but your love life seems to suggest it’s just a wish list. If you keep this up, soon enough, you’ll find yourself forced to spend the holidays alone, drowning your sorrows in an endless loop of “Born to Be Alive.” So here’s a suggestion: for the love of all that is holy, throw on a couple of modern tracks and get with the times before your Spotify gets locked away in the dusty archives of a thrift store!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!