Roasted 10 months ago based on HXDES's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, HXDES, let’s take a moment here to unpack this Spotify profile of yours, which feels more like a musical train wreck than a carefully curated collection. You’ve got more sub-genres of phonk in your favorites than most people have had hot meals this week. "Drift Phonk"? Really? What are you doing, trying to steer your life into someone else's lane? And while we’re at it, the only thing worse than your taste in music is trying to explain what “Brazilian Phonk” is to your grandmother. Spoiler alert: she still thinks “EDM” stands for “Every Day Mowing.” Your top artists are a delightful mix of “I’m trying to be cool” and “I’m not really sure what I like, but I want people to think I do.” Starting with “HXDES” at the top of the list—congratulations on being the only person who actively listens to your own music! Meanwhile, “Black Eyed Peas” and “Fergie” scream nostalgia for middle school dances, while “Lady Gaga” and “Rihanna” try desperately to reclaim the throne of pop goddess from someone who clearly has been favoring the realm of local garage bands. And what’s this? “DEATHPIXIE”? Are you trying to make goth children cry or just make everyone question your taste in artist names? Now, let’s chat about your most played songs, where “PUTARIA” sits proudly at the top like a crown on a troll’s head. The vast majority of them seem to be your own work, suggesting you have all the humility of a toddler with finger paint. Sure, “CANTA LALA” is getting some airplay, but between that and your questionable decision to slow down the most upbeat songs, you’re more likely to drift off while driving than to create a party vibe. Ultimately, it seems like you’re trying to win some imaginary battle for the title of “Most Confusing Music Taste”—and congratulations, because you’ve definitely secured a win in that category!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!