Roasted 2 years ago based on David's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, David, let’s break this down: your favorite genres read like the Yelp reviews of a hipster coffee shop that only serves cold brew and existential dread. “Permanent Wave”? Really? Sounds more like the Wi-Fi signal you get when your streaming starts buffering on your mom's ancient router. And let's talk about "Melancholia"—it’s impressive how you've managed to curate a playlist that feels less like music and more like an emotional therapy session gone wrong. If your playlist was any sadder, I’d have to call a life coach. As for your top artists, it’s clear you're trying to be an enigma wrapped in an ironic T-shirt. Radiohead and Earl Sweatshirt—your music taste screams, “I’m deep, but please don’t ask me about my feelings.” If more than half your listening history features Earl Sweatshirt, are you sure you’re not just reliving your high school therapy sessions on loop? It’s like you’re trying to become the poster child for “cool sadness.” Honestly, how many Instagram captions have you crafted about “getting lost in the sound”? Too many, I’m guessing. Let’s talk about your most played songs, shall we? "Ontheway!" should probably be retitled to "Still Deciding," 'cause with all that Earl sweat, it sounds like you’re just sweating indecision over life choices. And the ratio of Earl Sweatshirt to actual sunlight in your Spotify profile could be used as evidence in court that you've never enjoyed an outdoor concert. If you had a dollar for every time you played “Cold Summers,” you might just be able to afford a therapist to figure out why you can't stop licking your wounds with those melancholic beats. But hey, at least you’re having a mid-life crisis ahead of schedule—rock on, David!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!