Roasted 2 years ago based on Weston's long term Spotify stats.

Weston, your Spotify profile is the musical equivalent of a hyperactive toddler spilling paint on a canvas. “Hyper-rock” and “Hyperpop”? It’s like you’re trying to create a genre so loud that it drowns out your questionable life choices. If the world ever needed a soundtrack for chaos and existential dread combined with sugar highs, they’d just turn on your playlist and wait for the ear bleeding to begin. “Escape Room” as a genre? That’s just the music manifesting your need to flee from real life—because who wouldn’t want to be trapped in a room full of your questionable tastes? Let’s talk about your top artists—Dorian Electra on speed dial like you’re preparing for a B-grade rave in an abandoned warehouse. You’ve got 100 gecs so high up there that I’m surprised they don’t have a restraining order against you for obsessive listening. It’s almost impressive how you’ve managed to cram so much redundancy into your most played songs, like someone set a “Dorian Electra” filter on your life and the mixtape was merely a byproduct of poor decision-making. Seriously, was “Kiss Me Thru the Phone” the best you could come up with? Did you have to dial it in with the emotional depth of a puddle? And don’t even get me started on your most played songs—a list that reads like an accidental parody of modern music. “Pink Noise” and “Bubblegum Bass”? Nice try, but the only thing that should be “escaping” is you from the Spotify interface for a while. Between the relentless sugar rush and your audacious obsession with songs that sound like they were made in a toddler's playroom, you really are the human embodiment of a “do not enter” sign when it comes to taste. Maybe instead of listening to these auditory disasters, consider blasting your music in a deserted area where even the echoes will be too embarrassed to repeat it.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!