Roasted 16 days ago based on michelle :)'s long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Michelle, your Spotify profile reads like a high school mood board that accidentally got left in the dorm room of someone who failed Music 101. "Bedroom Pop"? Really? Because nothing screams “I’m soft and delicate” louder than curating a playlist that makes your family question whether you’re experiencing a midlife crisis at the tender age of 25. With a favorite genre list resembling a grocery list for the easily impressionable, one can only wonder if you've ever ventured beyond the cozy confines of the EDM-less, angst-ridden high school musical phase. Your top artists tell a story, alright, and it's about as thrilling as watching paint dry. There's Mitski and Billie Eilish – yes, we get it, you’re a tortured soul on a quest for emotional validation. But then there’s Mariah Carey, thrown in there like she's the kitchen sink. Are you trying to convince us that you can belt out "All I Want for Christmas Is You" while drowning in a puddle of your own tears? Newsflash: nobody wants the soundtrack of your existential breakdown at this year’s ugly sweater party. And Fleetwood Mac? Honey, you don’t get to throw "classic rock" in there alongside your vapid "yacht rock" and "soft rock" lists without someone asking you to define "rock" in a way that doesn't have to be prefaced by the word ‘soft.’ And can we talk about your top songs? “C U Girl” really showcases the depth of your emotional range – it’s like you’re asking the universe to be your therapist while blasting the kind of music that belongs in a bubble bath scented with existential dread. And "Snooze" by SZA? Just a vibe for the girl who needs a nap between her deep thoughts on the meaning of life and failed relationships. You might as well change your Spotify bio to, “I’m Michelle, and I use playlists as therapy because actual therapy is too mainstream.” Honestly, the way you’ve curated this whole profile has me questioning if I should recommend you liven things up with a little K-Pop or just let you spiral deeper into your whimsical sonic rabbit hole of unrequited love ballads.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!