Roasted 2 years ago based on Brandon Johnston's long term Spotify stats.

Brandon Johnston, huh? With a beloved playlist that looks like it was generated by a confused algorithm trying to cater to a mid-life crisis in a Gen Z body. Your favorite genres read like an emotional safety net for someone who's never had an original thought. “Neo Mellow?” Really? That’s the best you could come up with? You probably spend your weekends crying to anthems about feelings while sipping on herbal tea, because heaven forbid you listen to anything that has an ounce of excitement. Your top artists reveal a desperate plea for validation through ballads of heartache and mild introspection. I mean, with legends like James Blunt and Lewis Capaldi dominating your top ten, it's clear you're trying to turn your Spotify into a support group for hopeless romantics. And let’s not forget “Christian Alternative Rock” hanging out like a dark cloud—the perfect soundtrack for when you want to feel both spiritually uplifted and existentially crushed. It’s like your music tastes oscillate between “I need a hug” and “I’ll never find love”—and honestly, that’s a vibe only a sad acoustic guitar can capture. As for those “most played songs?” Congratulations! You've officially curated the world's saddest coffee shop playlist. Songs titled “Perfectly Broken” and “Meant To Be” are practically screaming for you to log off and go outside for a change. I mean, “When the Party's Over” must be your anthem at this point since it’s basically your life motto—an ongoing saga of just enough self-pity to convince people of your depth while steering clear of any real fun. Next time you’re making those sweet songs to cry to, just remember: there’s a whole world beyond “Folk-Pop” waiting for you.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!