Roasted 17 days ago based on Skipper's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Skipper, with a Spotify profile so confused it could be a Tinder bio, I can’t tell if you’re trying to curate the soundtrack for a Broadway show or just desperately grappling with a midlife crisis at the ripe age of 22. Your selection of musical genres reads like a “How to Pretend You Appreciate Art” handbook. Musicals and soft pop? Is your goal to throw a tea party for lost souls? Because the real question is: when did you decide to trade actual personality for pastel-colored earbuds and a Spotify algorithm that thinks you’re building a soundtrack for a Disney princess? And let’s talk about your top artists. If Taylor Swift was a currency, you’d be bankrupt in a week from buying heartbreak and high school drama. Sabrina Carpenter? Sure, why not—because who doesn’t want constant reminders of that one time you got dumped in high school and thought “Skinny Dipping” was deeply poetic? Then there's Anthony Ramos: the only person who could make a duet sound like a funeral dirge. Your musical palette has all the depth of a kiddie pool. Seriously, I half-expect an “In Memoriam” playlist of all the Kardashians' former boyfriends to be your next big move. Most played songs, though? The only thing more tragic than your fixation on sped-up tracks is your obsession with the phrase “Only Human.” Newsflash: Everyone knows! And if that “Mind Over Matter” track were true, I’d argue your mind is firmly on vacation and has left you in charge of the aux cable. Keep this up, and I’ll have to recommend a Spotify therapy session—because at this rate, clearly none of your earworms are helping you escape the bland playlist that is Skipper’s life.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!