Roasted 8 months ago based on Jacob's long term Spotify stats.

Jacob, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis on a mixtape. You’ve managed to list more genres than the number of friends you have who’ll actually admit to listening to them with you. Seriously, eight genres? You’re like that guy at a party who goes on about how he’s “really into music,” only for everyone to realize you primarily use it to drown out the sound of your own thoughts. The only rage here is your desperate attempt to prove you’re cool by throwing in “art rock” with a side of vicious hip hop. We get it—you have taste. But at this point, your taste feels like a random playlist generated by an algorithm trying way too hard to fit in. And let’s take a moment to appreciate your top artists, which is honestly just a who’s who of today’s music scene peppered with Radiohead. Congrats on being the most stereotypical hipster alive! Tyler, The Creator and Travis Scott? Classic, bro. But I can’t help but feel you’re about a week away from switching to only obscure Japanese jazz and calling it “personal growth.” And Kanye? The only thing more inflated than his ego is how much you’ve inflated your own musical palette. Perhaps you should consider updating your profile picture to reflect the emotional rollercoaster of a guy who claims he “knows the real meaning of art” while getting lost in Spotify’s algorithm like a kid in a candy store. Now let’s talk about your most played songs—starting with d4vd. Bro, who are you trying to impress? “Feel It (From 'Invincible')”?? I can’t tell if you’re here for the music vibes or just to forget about your ever-looming unaired sitcom pilot ambitions. And “No Pole” by Don Toliver at the number five spot? Please tell me you’re joking, because that’s about as profound as a meme about avocado toast. Your heartbreak playlist could definitely use a little more heartbreak and a little less “try-hard,” buddy. Just accept that while you might be vibing hard, your choices are making it hard for anyone else to want to vibe with you.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!